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Ganja Granny Sez: I have been away these past 2 wks & will resume my regular blog next week. I was compelled to share with all of you the details of my Mother's Passing.

I left my mom shopping with her companion on tuesday, October 20th.& headed for the airport to return to N.Y. I was in amazement! She insisted on going to the furniture store (a place as huge as Macy's), choosing exactly what she wanted. I purchased a new recliner for her the previous Friday & she wasn't happy w/ it. She slipped out of the old one unto the floor. I announced to her "thats It!" I am buying a new one. She did not want to part with Uncle Joe"s old chair. He had been gone 14 years last April 29th. The chair was a tangible reminder that he had been here & was still an intregral part of her life. After all, He was not just her brother in law...He was her second husband of 23 yrs. She had married him ten years after my dad passed on. My parents had 42 years of married life, producing four children. Only my sister Marie & I were left.

I did not sleep much during the wks leading up to Mom's departure. I knew in my heart what I had to reluctantly deal with& it wasn't easy. Intellectually, I understood it all! Emotionally it was all I could do, to hold on without falling apart. Mom did well, up until last spring. It was then that I told my son I think Grandma is winding down.I made a few trips back & forth from N.Y to Michigan.On her Birthday the last of August, I arranged to take out 12 people for dinner. 2 days before, Mom announced she couldn't go because she had nothing to wear! Can you imagine? Nothing to wear! You would think in 104 years she would have built an exraordinary wardrobe. I guess women never have anything to wear! I went shopping & after 2 unsuccessful tries Mom was finally delighted w/ her new outfit & ready to party.It was a Caribbean Restaurant w/ live reggae music. I took her there for 102 & the hostess said if we returned it was on her. Of course I called the following year. The hostess was flabbergasted & happily treated Grandma to her dinner. The hostess's husband came saying 104 was on him....

We returned once again to the Bahama Breeze, celebrating 104 big time. Mom made a toast , saying next year, same place, no matter what, proceeding to work the room like it was the Academy Awards. 105 would be on the waitress! We had a great time & danced the polka when we got home. She put her walker aside& we danced. I was concerned about her legs giving out. This was her chief complaint. No balance! I was the one who couldn't do it. I said, Ma! I can" t do it. I was out of breath but she kept dancing. She said you can't stop! You gotta keep going or you'll lose the rhythm. That was her philosophy about life in general. You gotta keep moving or you'll lose the rhythm. She fell a third time on Tuesday night., again without breaking any bones. This time was different. Her balance was gone, she couldn't walk & I prepared to return to Michigan. I called mom & said "wait for me! I will be on the 1st plane out on Friday. When my son & I arrived, she was in bed, propped up, still talking & joking w/ everyone. She asked for Boston Chicken,stressing she wanted a drumstick. Tony walked in w/ his usual greeting of "Hello Gorgeous!" & she responded w' a huge unforgettable grin.Whenever she called him, caller id would identify her.He would say"Hello Gorgeous & she would say "How did you know it was me?She received a money tree for her 100th birthday & she was signing her autograph on the dollar bills on friday. She raised hell because her new chair arrived. She wanted to sit in it but we were afraid to move her. Occasionaly, if I sat on the edge of the bed she would fluff my hair,patting the sides like she did when I was a child.I was 11 when I began to fix my own hair, thinking she may be regressing to when I was younger. I didn't say a word & neither did she. She continued this ritual on Sat. Her voice was now a whisper but she was still full of life continuing to communicate, making jokes & asking to speak to at least 20 different people. I would dial the #, holding the cell to her ear. I told everyone to say whatever, talking about some happy time they shared. She would smile & say I love you! 

There was a constant stream of family & friends visiting her.  She was happy w/ all the action.The priest came again Sat. evening, giving her the last rites of the Catholic church. She was content & at peace. At one point while fixing my hair she told me"You"re So Pretty".I held her, continuing to tell her how lucky she is to be at home in the same bed she shared w/ my Dad & later Uncle Joe. That was her wish to be at home when the the end would come. She never wanted to be anywhere else. She asked me to sing in Polish. I struggled with this since I could no longer remember all the words from my youth. Tony& the caregiver joined in when I sang the song my dad sang to her in years gone by"Let me call you Sweetheart!" & Uncle Joes'"You are my Sunshine". Saturday night she called out a number of times for my sister Frances who passed 6 wks after Moms 100th birthday Party. 6 A.M. on Sunday I climbed in the bed w/ her, holding her in my arms. I continued to tell her all that I have told her throughout the years, reinforcing it w/ the fact that she gave me the basics to survive, I am strong, I would be okay.No need to worry! I kept telling her how much I loved her & that I knew she loved me. I told her none of us would have done as well had it not been for her help & guidance.I called the Eucharistic minister to give her communion. A tiny piece that I followed w/ water from an eye dropper. I said her morning prayer w/ her which basically said, Thank you Lord for helping me through the night. Today I submit to your Will..We continued singing off & on.

 I told her I was blessing her, the room, the doors & the windows w/ holy water, assuring her there was no way the devil could get in. She was relieved. We were taught that he works the hardest during the last moments. It is his last chance to take your soul. He would not take Moms' soul! I asked her a number of times Sat. evening & throughout Sun. morning "Are you in pain Mom? Does it hurt to breath? Does your throat hurt ? She was breathing through her mouth since Friday night. Each time she said no. The whisper was barely audible but she clearly could mouth the words. My son told her what a beautiful Sunday it was. The sky is blue & the sun brightly shining. She communicated until the last few minutes saying that she was comfortable & I continued to say I loved her, finally saying that Jesus & the Blessed Mother were taking care of her. She looked to the light  streaming from the window, took her last breath & was gone. I worked in hospice. I have seen many people pass including family & friends. For days, sometimes months I would feel their presence, their spirit,their soul! I felt nothing.My mom was so ready to get to the next level that it it seemed she couldn't get there fast enough. She was resigned! Her work on earth was completed!

Her departure was a cross between a Rock Star & a Saint! She taught me how to live & taught me how to die. It was 2:21pm, October 25th, 2 months passed her 104th birthday!  My sister & I washed her body, a symbolic ritual practiced by many different cultures. We stayed w/ her until the undertaker arrived.There were close to 200 hundred people at the funeral home & the funeral Mass. She touched a lot of hearts especially mine.I will miss her but I m confident she will be my protector & guide as long as I live.P.S We are not telling the waitress of Mom's passing. Next year, like Mom said, No matter what, we would all be there to celebrate her 105th birthday.